Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
