Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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