i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
