No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize