call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
