I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
