He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
