i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
