Your face is a jimmy john
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Itβs amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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