ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
