where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
