He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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