so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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