"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize