i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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