pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This baby is an asshole
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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