Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
