Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
