I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
