you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
