What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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