i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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