Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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