my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize