tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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