I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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