Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
