i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have fence marks all over my body
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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