My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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