do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
