I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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