if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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