she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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