the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
