I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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