that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
