I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
