What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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