I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize