When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize