Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
