Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
