If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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