Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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