On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
