Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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