its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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