i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
