No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
