yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
