big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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