My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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