How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize