I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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