I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
