just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
