Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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