I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
