Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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