i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
