The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
