Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
