if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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