Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
